Letters to my Darlings

Dear Kayla,
You are about 20 days old today. The midwife has just left, and now you weigh about 3.42kg.. nearly up to your brother's birth weight of 3.49kg (but not quite yet, still very very little).

I have to say, you are vastly different from your brother at this stage of his life. He was a hungry baby that seemed to wake up routinely every 2-3 hours, throughout both day and night, for the first 3-6 months of his life. You, on the other hand, have gotten into a routine whereby you sleep at 3-4 hours a stretch at night, but stay awake in the mornings between 8/9am up till 1/2pm.. then you pretty much sleep the other 21++ hours away.

Your day routine is as follows (like today):
9am - 1.30pm -  You wake up and feed sporadically (every 1/2 hours) until you get full.
1.30pm - 5pm - Nap
5pm/6pm - 7pm/8pm - Wake up and feed as much as you can
8/9pm - 12am - Sleep
12am - 12.30am - Feed and nappy change
12.30am - 3.30/4am - Sleep
3.30am - 4.00am - Feed and Nappy Change
4.00am - 7am - Sleep
7am - 7.30am - Feed and Nappy Change
7.30am - 9am - Sleep

Such a placid, sweet and serene baby. So amazing. Mummy and Daddy still cannot believe that you are ours, and we love you to the moon and back. Your big brother loves giving you multiple kisses and cuddles, and the occasional head knock (yes we tell him off). Anyway we love seeing you growing bit by bit.. the midwife even commented on how much you've grown and that your starting to get chubby arms! =)

Love,
Mummy



Dear Jayden,

You are exactly 3 and a half years old now (well, yesterday).

I have to say, you are coping so very well with the addition of Kayla. You swell up with pride everytime someone mentions that you are a 'kor kor' or a big brother now or that you have a little sister. You also tell me how when Kayla gets bigger you will teach her to fire a nerf gun, and play with your lego, and even build paper aeroplanes and fly them together, and it makes me want to reach out and give you a big hug and never ever let you go. I know it cant be easy not being the centre of attention anymore, but you make me so proud about how you react and how you love her.

You tell me multiple times a day how you love Kayla, and stop me when im feeding her or whenever you can to give her hugs, cuddles and kisses. Sometimes its annoying but you know what - I love seeing you love her. You are growing and maturing into this fully amazing kid with such a good sense of humour that I can actually hold a conversation with. It never ceases to amaze me how much you KNOW, and how much you REMEMBER.

Which brings me to my next (unrelated) point, never EVER grow up. When I jokingly tell you that you can never grow up and must always be my baby, you start frowning and very panicky/angrily tell me "NO I want to grow up mummy!!" So you can drink coke. So you can have coffee with Ah Ye when you get older. So you can call me "Mum" instead of "Mummy". Such wisdom in your words. Soon you will grow up and I think i will be clutching at your baby clothes and crying. But i know you need to.

You're amazing and it is such a privilege to be your mum.
I love you.

Love,
Mummy (Yes still Mummy, not Mum).
(Mummy FOREVER not mum).

The Birth

Wow was I spot on... Anyway since I last blogged 2 weeks ago, we are happy and excited to announce the arrival of our dearest baby girl, Kayla Annie Pak (Chinese name still undecided as of yet), born on 3rd July 2014, weighing 2.81kg and 47cm long. 

Josh chose the name Kayla - it's a name he has loved for a long time - I mean if Jayden was a girl that's what his name was going to be. I chose the name Annie, after my dear grandmother (her great-grandmother) who practical raised me, and whom we will see in Singapore very soon! 

The night before, I had gone for a late night dessert outing to San Churros with my sisters, especially with Sam who had flown in for the birth, and actually got pulled over by the cops on my way home to do a breathalyser!! Yes at 39weeks pregnant!! 

Here is the full story of the birth..

Anyway, later that night, around 3-4am I woke up feeling the contractions starting. I rolled over and told Josh, who then promptly mumbled something and went back to sleep. Half an hour later, they were still coming, pain scale was prolly 2-3/10, but I thought I'd better properly wake Josh up. he proceeded to flip out, his first words being 'why didn't you tell me before!!!', before leaping out of bed, sending a bunch of emails, and packing. 

My response? Well I think I was still in denial.. I very calmly told him that I didn't think the baby was coming today and he should just go to work. Famous last words right?? 

He laughed at me and said fine, to call him if anything changed..

I even rang the midwife who told me that if the contractions didn't stop or the pain got more unbearable, I should ring them back immediately. 

Come 9.30am and the pain was now 5-6/10, so I rang my midwife who told me she would meet me at the hospital, so I packed my bag and made arrangements for Jayden and my mother-in-law drove me to the hospital at 10.45am. There the midwife said I was on the cusp (what does that even mean!!!!) and was undecided about sending me back home.. Well I gotta tell you the pain was about 7/10 so I opted to just stay there and she would check on me back at 4pm. She also loaded me up with paracetamol which she said would take the edge off, but if I were truly in labour it would not stop the pain, and contractions. 

Well despite the pain, I was still in denial, and really didn't want to bother Josh at work, so my mil stayed with me and we watched the tennis (go krygios!!!) together. And guess what the meds did not work, by 3pm I was 4cm dilated and the contractions were coming fast and strong. Finally accepting that the kid was coming I got transferred to the delivery room (which was really nice) and with a sigh of acceptance told Josh to come on down to the hospital.

After he came I had my epidural (aka magic heavenly sent needle) and I was able to rest for a few hours before the pushing started, which, I could feel without the pain. Heavenly I tell you!! And, finally, at precisely 7.55pm she came into the world.

The first night, I held her from 1am to 5am nonstop because she kept crying when I put her down. Welcome to the world my precious daughter.

This birth was so much better than my first, and it was so much easier, despite still having a second degree tear. I was able to be discharged at 11am the next day to the comfort of my home. 

This was her birth story.