My First Haircut... on Jayden.

In the words of my husband "No, you can't even blame it on him because he doesn't yet know how to hold a scissors, Deb".

I remember the time when my brother returned from the barber all upset because they didnt cut the hair on top of his head uniform to the rest growing around it (yes think short all around and long on top). I managed to convince him what a great prospective hairdresser I would be, and we ended up using a just a scissors (no comb at all!!) to 'correct' this seemingly unsightly haircut. The result was fantastic - at first. Did I mention that my brother is the tallest person in the family so no one noticed the patches until we went to church and all his other friends did. For the next few weeks he was known as 'patchy boy'. We can laugh about it now, but it was so not funny then. Especially to my brother.

Fastforward to present. The thing I realise about impromptu haircuts is that it all starts innocently enough. All I wanted to do then was help my brother. Genuinely from the heart. Jayden's hair was getting longer and touching his neck, so all I wanted to do was to trim the ends. Really. So I stripped him naked, got him into the tub and started snipping away. This is a snippet of the conversation between Josh and I.

After the back part was done:
Me: "Hey look it doesnt look too bad doesnt it?!! "
Josh: **long pause** then "oh yeah its okay."
Me: "I think ill trim the top too okay? I mean how hard can it be?" (Famous last words)
Josh: **even longer pause** "Erm Deb it is a rash decision, do we really want to do this now??"
Me: "If not now, then when? Oh yeah it'll be fine i think, hair is just hair it will grow back"
Josh: "Um... okayy... i guess..."

Looking back at this i think every fibre in my poor long suffering husband was wanting to scream at me "NO NO NONONOOONONO WHAT ARE U THINKING WOMAN GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN (lol)!!!" but Josh being the nice/gentlemanly(ha ha) person he is, held back.

I then take one biggg snip off the top of Jayden's hair
Me: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!! WHAT HAVE I DONE AW MAN!!"
Josh: "DEB oh NO!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!"

My son now looks like a vagabond (a socially not accepted person). The line of hair outlining his forehead is now ragged and zig-zagged. Hair is everywhere in the tub, clinging to his body and getting into his eyes. He is not a happy camper. Me? I am holding the scissors and freaking out. Not in a good place at all. Josh is staring at his once formerly perfect son's hair and shaking his head.

The rest of the haircut pretty much went like this. Suffice to say at the end of it I was a wreck, Jayden was crying and Josh, well HE was fine. Afterall, it wasnt HIS hair that I butchered. Neither did HE do any butchering. I think he was able to see the funny side of it first. I was unable to look at Jayden's hair for the next few days without surpressing the urge to burst into tears.

Okay enough talk, here's the hair. You may think it doenst look too bad but, it does to me.

We (and by we i mean Josh) finally shaved it all off. He didnt do a half-bad job either. Hence here is my cute little botak headed son for you:


Not saying that I will never attempt this again, I will at some point, but it will be when I have finally gotten over the trauma of giving a bad haircut.

Negotiations in bathtime

As most of you probably know by now, the Bath is one of Jayden's favourite places to be. Every night without fail there is a massive struggle to get him out of the tub, which usually involves me bending down, trying to grab and wrap him in a thick towel all around so he doesnt catch a cold, all this while having to fight the thrashing, squirming, wriggling about not to mention the loud, loud screams and cries. Ah the cries. Did i mention my face/eardrums are about level with his in this struggle? Dont even get me started on avoiding the flailing punches he tries to throw at me (See my previous post). Aww cute?? Not.

Its taken me sometime, but I've finally figured the key to not breaking my back and him not catching hypothermia is... wait for it... for him to come willingly out himself!!! (pretty genius I know). So from last week I've come up with a multitude of bribes for him.

"Jayden!!! Do you want to see Aunty Becca's room and mess it up??" YAAAYYY!!"

"Jayden!! Time to get out!! Quick lets go watch the Wiggles on youtube!!"

"Jayden!! Don't you want to turn the lights on for mummy??"
(He's worked out that flipping the switch brings light and its the best thing since sliced bread, so this bribe is tops).

Each of these will result in him cocking his head, smiling and reaching his hands toward me.

Until last night.
Even after going through all 3 bribes (and many more), he cocked his head, took one look at his bath and then...

shook his head.

Suddenly it occurred to me.

He is 1 and half years. What the heck am i doing negotiating with a 1 year old?"

So I just picked him up and resigned myself to my fate.
SIGH. Back to the drawing board.

On another note, here's a quick update of Uni.
I have made it through first half of the term and we currently have holidays up till next week. Am happy with how I am going studywise, but am seeking to definately do better. Thank you to all of yous for all your prayers love and support!

Backfiring

When Jayden was about 6-7 months old and getting more mobile, he started becoming more prone to accidents, like, (sometimes) falling of the bed (i am such a good mum). One time after leaving him on the bed Josh and I both walked out of a room, only to come back in 2 minutes later to find him sitting on the floor, playing with the electrical wiring all happy and cooing. He was happy but he had obviously rolled off the bed onto the floor seeing as how he couldnt walk or have very good motor control at that time. Point is, unlike that nice occasion that ended in smiles most of the time it would end in tears.

So, being the most awesome mum I am (ha ha right), in an attempt to make him stop crying and smiling, I would play what I call (in my head), the 'beating' game. I would lead him to the object / site of where he had fallen or struck himself, hit it once or twice and say "Bad___ (whatever the object is, say the bed).. "Bad Bed!! U made Jayden cry!!" This would never fail to stop him from crying and start him laughing at me. I would think "Wow win win, I am such an awesome mother how good am i see how much I made him laugh despite his pain what a brave little man" and give myself a pat on the back.

Now, 9 months down the track, I am only beginning to discover what a colossally BAD, BAD idea that was. B.A.D. Not only does it promote violence, it also gives him a reason to hit.. yes you've guessed it.. me. I can only look back and think of how foolish/stupid/naive I was and the heck was I thinking!!!!

Now that Jayden is a little older, he's worked out that he cant actually do everything he wants, and the people that stop him from doing so are the formerly nice people known as Mum and Dad. I think that in his mind he equates us to the bad objects that Mummy hit for making him angry before, so that gives him a license to hit and lash out at us, especially Mummy for when he doesnt get his way (Daddy he still regards with something close to respect or maybe its fear when Josh raises his voice).

For transgressions like "no honey you cant play with the power outlet you may get electrocuted and Mummy and Daddy are going to, in turn, get killed by your nice grandparents so please stop that" or "No honey you cannot go outside yet it is 7degrees not to mention 6.30am" or even "STOP hitting/pushing/sitting on Charlie/Milo Jayden that is NOT cool" will earn a little smack. From his tiny little hand. Which in turn makes me feel a tinge of panic because now I think that im raising a wild man. It also makes me feel (just a tiny bit, okay, ALOT) of pride through my frustration because I also see a (soon to be)independent, stubborn and strong little man struggling to assert himself. Exactly like his mother.

Guess they were right when they say your character/flaws/strengths magnifies ten times in your children.

15 months and 9 days

Dear Jayden,
Today you are 15 months and 9 days old. Weird date to be writing this, but Mummy has been so busy with uni study papers and deadlines that she hasnt had the opportunity.
It is so hard to believe 15 months ago you were just born. This time last year Mummy was staying home with you, caring for you every hour of every minute of every day (well, except for nights because Daddy is so awesome). I will come right out and say that I really miss this time with you now. I have put together some thoughts, that hopefully will be able to express how I feel being your mother. Thank you for being you, our lives wouldnt be complete without you around.

I love how you have grown. I love (and sometimes hate) how you are now able to express emotions and thoughts. From crying in general just because to crying when things dont go your way.

I love how when we ask you "Where's Miley (the cat) Jayden?" and you always run to our wardrobe, point to Milo and say "There". In fact, "There" is one of your first words.

I love how you love bathtime. I especially love your refusal to get out of the bath, and then proceed to run away from me, screaming with happy laughter when Im trying to dress you. Yes, think wet slippery naked all over the house even in winter when its like 8 degrees in the house (Potential Occupational health and safety issue).


I love how you give me cuddles and run all around the place. I even love how the first thing you do when we get home from anywhere is run through the house looking for "Aunty Becca" and try to crashknock her door (even though my mummy-ego takes a beating then its still cute).


I love your cheeky smile whenever Daddy asks you to say "Da-Da" and how you always, always say "MA-MA" instead and burst out into fits of laughter, even though we know well that you are fully capable of saying it.


In short, you are amazing.

Love,
Daddy and Mummy