Backfiring

When Jayden was about 6-7 months old and getting more mobile, he started becoming more prone to accidents, like, (sometimes) falling of the bed (i am such a good mum). One time after leaving him on the bed Josh and I both walked out of a room, only to come back in 2 minutes later to find him sitting on the floor, playing with the electrical wiring all happy and cooing. He was happy but he had obviously rolled off the bed onto the floor seeing as how he couldnt walk or have very good motor control at that time. Point is, unlike that nice occasion that ended in smiles most of the time it would end in tears.

So, being the most awesome mum I am (ha ha right), in an attempt to make him stop crying and smiling, I would play what I call (in my head), the 'beating' game. I would lead him to the object / site of where he had fallen or struck himself, hit it once or twice and say "Bad___ (whatever the object is, say the bed).. "Bad Bed!! U made Jayden cry!!" This would never fail to stop him from crying and start him laughing at me. I would think "Wow win win, I am such an awesome mother how good am i see how much I made him laugh despite his pain what a brave little man" and give myself a pat on the back.

Now, 9 months down the track, I am only beginning to discover what a colossally BAD, BAD idea that was. B.A.D. Not only does it promote violence, it also gives him a reason to hit.. yes you've guessed it.. me. I can only look back and think of how foolish/stupid/naive I was and the heck was I thinking!!!!

Now that Jayden is a little older, he's worked out that he cant actually do everything he wants, and the people that stop him from doing so are the formerly nice people known as Mum and Dad. I think that in his mind he equates us to the bad objects that Mummy hit for making him angry before, so that gives him a license to hit and lash out at us, especially Mummy for when he doesnt get his way (Daddy he still regards with something close to respect or maybe its fear when Josh raises his voice).

For transgressions like "no honey you cant play with the power outlet you may get electrocuted and Mummy and Daddy are going to, in turn, get killed by your nice grandparents so please stop that" or "No honey you cannot go outside yet it is 7degrees not to mention 6.30am" or even "STOP hitting/pushing/sitting on Charlie/Milo Jayden that is NOT cool" will earn a little smack. From his tiny little hand. Which in turn makes me feel a tinge of panic because now I think that im raising a wild man. It also makes me feel (just a tiny bit, okay, ALOT) of pride through my frustration because I also see a (soon to be)independent, stubborn and strong little man struggling to assert himself. Exactly like his mother.

Guess they were right when they say your character/flaws/strengths magnifies ten times in your children.